I don’t know either

I don’t know why! I really don’t have a reason why I would start another blog. It seems ridiculous to me too. But, it’s been on my heart so much lately. I don’t know why….I guess I just want to have a greater reach into helping encourage/ inspire people to be in love with Jesus and to realize practical ways to create justice in our world. That’s what I want in my life! I want more of Jesus everyday, and I want to practically impact others with the love and hope of our God.

I know one thing, I have resolved to always post things on this blog that reflect what I personally need to learn, not what I think someone else needs to “get”. Is anyone really attracted to that kind of advice anyway? I can’t really give away what I haven’t got. Which leads me to my next point. Loving my todays. Loving my present. Yep, that’s what I’ve been learning lately. I am so much of a dreamer/visionary/imaginative thinker that I can almost resent the season of life that I’m currently experiencing. I’m always wanting the next big thing. My mind is constantly turning on how to change the whole world…in the future. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love dreaming and scheming for the Kingdom of God. I truly believe He wants us to do that. But, I can’t underestimate what He’s doing in me today. Today is what He’s given me, not ten years down the road. I have to learn to be content and responsible with what’s in my hand now to know that I can handle what could be there in the future.

I love the small group of girls that I lead in Bible study each week. They encourage, teach, and fill me in ways that I don’t think I could ever give them. Just last week I went to facebook with a quote that I took from a beautiful girl I knew in high school. She wrote, “Our stories are not written in our tomorrows, they are written in our todays”. It so touched me because it was exactly the thing I had been striving over. I went on to respond in the comment section about being grateful for “today” because thats what’s in my hand. My sweet Romona commented on the post by saying, “and big dreams can unfold in the simplicity of whats at hand in our todays!” How ridiculously wise is that?! Yes! It’s the same thing God did with Moses. In Exodus 4 we see that God didn’t spell out for Moses in one big breath of a sentence how he would lead Israel out of oppression (although God did reveal enough details that would certainly overwhelm me!). He simply asked him to believe Him, and start with what was in His hand.

In her new book Lioness Arising (uh wow, more on this book in another post) Lisa Bevere writes “we want a map, but instead God weaves us a mystery”. Ah! Don’t you just want to soak in that for awhile? I spoke on this same topic of living a mysterious, wild adventure with God to a group of young people at my church a few weeks ago. And the very same day I was to give the message, I was threatened by my own insecurities in that my adventure with God probably would remain stuck, dull, and lifeless. God tells us in Romans 8 that His journey for us is “adventurously expectant”. So, I need to loosen the grasp that my hand has on my future–love and trust God–to give Him my today so that He can lead me into a wild future with Him. With Him, I will change the world. Or [less dramatic] at least do my part in the grand scheme of Kingdom living.

my prayer for 2011: “She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]” Proverbs 31:20 amplified version

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